Once considered old-fashioned, politeness is almost modern again: an act of resistance in an individualistic world. With our eyes glued to our phones, a world where we sometimes lose our sense of things, of those around us - and our senses, in the literal sense.
The word "politeness" was born in the 16th century. It comes from the Italian politezza - "cleanliness" then "refinement, civilization". Itself derived from polito, "smooth, polished clean" from the Latin politus: "smooth, shiny" then "polished, educated". A whole genealogy that clearly states that politeness is not just a matter of rules, but a subtle work on our ways of being in the world. (cf definition from the French Academy).
Roland Barthes wrote: "politeness is more generous than frankness, because it means believing in the intelligence of the other". James Ivory countered: "politeness of manners has never been a guarantee of a respectful attitude". Virtue or social mask, it remains a necessity. In the era of every-man-for-himself, politeness becomes resistance: resistance to selfishness, indifference, contempt, and sometimes the brutality of human interactions.The philosopher Alain defined politeness as "the art of signs", "a tribute to one's fellow beings".
One could almost speak of a social ritual: a hello, a thank you, holding a door. Tiny gestures that change the texture of our lives. "After you" should be the most beautiful definition of our civilization wrote the philosopher Emmanuel Lévinas. And as La Rochefoucauld pointed out, politeness is not just a convention, it is "an attention that goes beyond simple self-respect to embrace that of others".
Politeness is not universal. What seems natural here can seem incongruous elsewhere. In Tibet, sticking out your tongue is a traditional sign of respect. In Japan, special slippers are provided only for the toilet — forgetting to wear them is perceived as a great impoliteness. In Mongolia, when handing an object, you support your arm with your free hand to attest to the sincerity of the gesture. All these codes remind us that politeness is also a cultural language.
Politeness towards oneself. Knowing how to listen to oneself, allowing oneself to slow down, to breathe, to take care of oneself and to do oneself good. Cultivating an inner gentleness that calms and makes one more available to others. It is an intimate, discreet, essential politeness towards oneself.
Olfactory politeness. In Japan, the smell of sweat on the subway is considered flagrant impoliteness. In India or the Middle East, while body odor is more tolerated, it must disappear in formal contexts. Certain foods are prohibited in hotels and public places because of their persistent smell: this is the case, for example, of Durian, a fruit common in Southeast Asia, adored for its flavors, dreaded because of its smell. In our comfort-oriented societies, toilets are a discreet but revealing area of politeness: a minimum is expected of everyone to erase any trace of their passage for those who follow.
Interviewed by Pauline Gallard (Gala, March 2014), Jacques Dutronc spoke about the subject of smells. "For me, perfume is a politeness. I hate people who smell bad, who talk to you close up when they have bad breath. I try to respect people by perfuming myself, and I tend to spray myself before going out".
Who has never felt assaulted by a perfume?
In issue 2 of Grazia magazine, journalist Lionel Paillès highlights in an article titled "perfume calls for politeness" (photo) the quest for absolute intensity that has dominated perfumery for a decade: saturated, persistent sillage, without nuance to the point of disgust. To achieve this olfactory intensity and make the scent last on the skin, perfumers would boost - according to the journalist - the formulas with woody-amber synthetic molecules (Amber Xtrem, Ambrocenide). Contrary to this trend, the journalist reminds us that "not seeking to leave a trace, only a sillage: that is the secret of true olfactory elegance." Another form of politeness to cultivate.
Serge Lutens explained to Isabelle Cerboneschi in 2019 that he had created his fresh body mists - reissued under the "Eaux de politesse" collection - with the idea that the person wearing them would not impose themselves. "A perfume that is like an illusionary tulle. These are mists to be polite, to be present, but with less affirmation, staying at a slight distance from the subject and things. It's a research on perfume."
The Domaine Singulier scented rituals are part of this philosophy of polite perfumes: designed to sublimate and purify places, neutralize unpleasant odors, soothe and welcome, without ever imposing their presence. Politeness towards others. Attention towards oneself. And perhaps, every day, a gentle little resistance in a brutal world.
👉 discover the Domaine Singulier scented rituals ↗️
To read on the subject: Grazia issue 2 page 175* photos (published September 18, 2025), Philosophie Magazine "Is politeness a virtue?" - Café Philo.org "Politeness, still a relevant value"
